Vulnerability Share: Shannon Leigh Thomas
This month at OWY we are focusing on the theme Vulnerability. Throughout the month several of our teachers will be contributing to this project by offering up a Vulnerable Share: 10 things About Me list. Writing one of these lists is hard and nerve touching, the thought required takes place at the true edges of our vulnerabilities. I don't believe in asking people to do hard things without being willing to do them myself, so we're going to start with my list. Here goes a deep dive into vulnerability.
Join us in this conversation on the studio chalk board or by sharing on social media #owyintentions #owyvulnerability.
I love my kids (more than anything), but I sometimes hate parenting (more than anything)
I have a temper and my anger often explodes out in the most humiliating ways. For example: I once broke our refrigerator in a tantrum. Worse than anger, I also (wrongly) believe that anger is bad and this self-judgement has been the justification for the most horrific self-vs-self psychological violence.
My favorite thing about myself is that I have a gift for seeing the bird’s-eye-view in almost every situation that does not personally involve me.
Least favorite thing: My gift for seeing the bird’s-eye-view does not seem to show up in situations that personally involve me. I kind of feel like I got ripped-off.
I’ve always struggled with commitment. My relationship with Brian is the first relationship I’ve had where I experience the feeling of a voluntary deep commitment. Open Way Yoga is the first work I’ve done where I’ve stayed more than 2 years.
Because I appeared on the show Naked & Afraid (my episode) men sometimes send me pictures of their naked parts... As if being a survivalist who took on a survival challenge naked is an invitation. It’s the shocking virtual equivalent of being flashed and it creates a whole host of uncomfortable feelings. (My biggest fear in revealing this is that some people will say "she asked for it." I'm sharing anyway because as we move into a post #metoo era I believe-hope-pray the "she asked for it" attitude is going to go the way of legal wife beating.)
I self-medicate. In a variety of chemical and non-chemical ways. I justify it by saying this is a hard world to live in, but I know the dynamics relate to avoidance and I do it anyway.
Sometimes I worry that my life experiences make me weird and un-relatable. For example: For a year and a half I lived in a hut built around a hole in the ground in the New Jersey Pine Barrens. I drank water from a spring and sometimes in the winter I had to break a layer of ice on the stream so that I could bathe. (Picture of hut above and of ice below.) Another example: I majored in English with a concentration in The Creative Writing of Poetry. I write poetry as a way of seeing, interpreting and interacting with the world. (Poem I shared on Instagram @vitalwild pictured below.) Weird?... Maybe a little. Un-relatable?... I hope not.
I’ve been uncomfortable at the studio more than once when I’ve been caught listening to my personal playlists. I listen to all kinds of stuff, but in the past few years I transitioned from being strongly anti hip-hop into an avid fan of hip-hop and I’m not talking pop hip-hop here (though I like that too), I’m talking about the type that inspired the parent advisory labels in the record industry. I worry if people hear my music they will be shocked and judge me, I assume they are expecting to hear peace and love yoga lyrics instead of "XXX" by K. Lamar.
I have IBS with varied triggers - some physical, some psychological. I spend way more time in the bathroom than I’d like to. I often feel like I’m failing at health because none of the many of approaches I’ve tried have eliminated it. Please don’t send me ideas - It will only re-enforce my feelings of failure.
