Compassion for the Body: Bodies Aren't Bad Guys

The other day I was supposed to teach yoga, but I got sick, the run-to-the-bathroom-regularly kind of sick.  I knew I couldn’t teach and we couldn’t find a last minute sub, so I had to cancel class.  After the decisions and calls had been made I was feeling all upset, disturbed and irresponsible.  I noticed my mind thinking things like, “Stupid body, why can’t you just do what you are supposed to do (not poop every few minutes), so I can do what I am supposed to do (teach my yoga class)?”  As if my body were separate from this “me” I imagine.  

It was shocking to me when I discovered several years ago that I often think of my body as the Bad Guy.  And then, how I treat it in my mind… positively scandalous… I get frustrated with it and verbally abusive towards it  (again, as if it were something other than me.)  And there my body is, humming along, doing its thing to the best of its ability anyway.  

I used to give my mind too much credit and my body too little.  When I let my mind dominate or override my body (in my case this relationship has historically been pretty brutal and abusive) one part of self (mind) oppresses another part of self (body) and I’ve fragmented my experience and am not able to interact with myself as a whole being.

My body didn’t care that I had a class to teach, something needed to leave my system, so body evacuated.  It wasn’t wrong or bad for doing that.  It was right.  My mind was confused and thought I wasn’t actually supposed to be sitting on the toilet, which I clearly, clearly was. The body knew what it needed to do and it went ahead and did it, with or without my approval.  

Because I’ve isolated this tendency before, it can be easier to override when it pops up.  I knew that my body wasn’t being a Bad Guy (despite my mind’s insistence) and that it is never “wrong” - wrong is a construct of mind only.   My body was just doing what it does… balancing and rebalancing, seeking equilibrium…  So not the Bad Guy.  In fact, my body does everything in its power to keep me alive and safe.  (All of ours do!)

Secret theory about death:  I think that the mind feels like it has all this say and control over what happens with the body in part because the mind fears death.  The mind sees death and thinks:  Body can’t have too much power or we’re in real trouble.  In facing this fear we begin to really see:  The body is not going to live forever, it will ultimately stop living, and that isn’t wrong either.  It is just what happens to everyone, every life.  Not wrong, it just is.  When we realize this there is nothing left to do but enjoy the ride.

So on my sick day, I realized I’d made my body wrong and I changed course.  Mind and body are a partnership, they work together to help me navigate this physical life, so I tuned into the sensations my body was offering up.  I calmed down, got soft in my mind towards my body and finally allowed my self to cuddle up on the couch, rest, and wait for my next run to the bathroom.  Nothing left to do but enjoy the ride.  I was better the next day.

Here are just a few examples of ways that I have experienced or have witnessed others making the body into the Bad Guy: 

Shaving the legs.  
Body is wrong because hair grows back and mind doesnt want to shave again tomorrow.

Overweight.  
Body is wrong for not looking the way the mind thinks it should.

Too skinny.  
Body is wrong for not looking the way the mind thinks it should. (I know people who struggle with weight roll their eyes at this one, but trust me, body loathing is not just for the overweight, it’s for everyone.)  

Inflexible.  
Body is wrong for not conforming to the mind’s standard of flexibility.  (So many of us do this in our yoga practices. If my body isn’t flexible enough according to the mind, the mind, which does not like to be wrong, decides that it must be the body that is wrong, instead of recognizing that the inflexibility is in the mind - not the body.)

Weak.  
Body is wrong for not being as strong as the mind wants it to be in the moment the mind wants it.  (Same as above it’s the mind that is confused, not the body.)  

Illness. 
Body is wrong for getting sick and pausing the flow of life.

Miscarriage.  
Body is wrong for not making or retaining a healthy baby.

Aging.  
Body is wrong for sagging, wrong for wrinkling.

This list is by no means complete, these are just a few to get you started in your thinking.  Where do you make your body the Bad Guy?